Overcoming Social Anxiety Disorder And Expanding My Horizons
By Jason in Motivational, Personal Life | 12 comments
I have some very exciting news regarding my house hunt. I *may* have gotten my offer accepted on my absolute dream home. It’s everything I could ever want and more. Nothings final yet, so I will post here next week with an update. But things are looking good!
Anyway, today’s post is about how I am overcoming social anxiety disorder and how important it is to expand your horizons. I have always been the type to spend most of my time behind my computer. I was the farthest thing from a social butterfly there is. I didn’t have many friends, I didn’t EVER go out on the weekends, and I rarely ever left the house.
That all changed in 2007. First I set out to find out why I was like that. So I went to see a psychiatrist to see if there was something wrong with me because my behavior was definitely not normal. Humans are naturally social beings, always tending to spend time together in groups.
As it turns out, I was diagnosed with social anxiety disorder. I could have guess that, but I got confirmation of this from a professional. Here’s what social anxiety disorder is according to WebMD.com:
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Social anxiety disorder, also called social phobia, is an anxiety disorder in which a person has an excessive and unreasonable fear of social situations. Anxiety (intense nervousness) and self-consciousness arise from a fear of being closely watched, judged and criticized by others.
A person with social anxiety disorder is afraid that he or she will make mistakes and be embarrassed or humiliated in front of others. The fear may be made worse by a lack of social skills or experience in social situations. The anxiety can build into a panic attack. As a result of the fear, the person endures certain social situations in extreme distress or may avoid them altogether. In addition, people with social anxiety disorder often suffer “anticipatory” anxiety — the fear of a situation before it even happens — for days or weeks before the event. In many cases, the person is aware that the fear is unreasonable, yet is unable to overcome it.
People with social anxiety disorder suffer from distorted thinking, including false beliefs about social situations and the negative opinions of others. Without treatment, social anxiety disorder can negatively interfere with the person’s normal daily routine, including school, work, social activities and relationships.
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That about summed me up! I was just soo uncomfortable around people thinking everyone was looking at me and judging me. This was especially hard at the 20+ Internet marketing seminars I have attended where I usually didn’t know many people. (I HAD to attend these events for the sake of my business so I forced myself to go.)
Long story short, I was put on the prescription Drug Paxil and instructed to go to social events and interact with strangers more and more each time as I went to these events. Besides Marine Corps boot camp, this was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do.
Thing is, it was extremely hard at first but over time I actually became more confident and comfortable at social events. My life was changing right before my eyes. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not 100% over it, but im almost there.
What’s important for me to remember is to keep doing things where social interaction is necessary. I attend church, participate in city league sports, do Yoga classes, spend more time with the friends I do have, and on and on.
I actually practice overcoming my anxiety with anybody who will talk to me. I mean it’s now normal for me to strike up a conversation with the clerk at the quickie mart, people on the subway, at the gym, wherever.
Like I said, it’s a work in progress, but there has been huge progress, and there will be more. I think it’s important to expand our horizons. Sometimes we get into a rut where we follow the same routine everyday and we don’t take the time to get involved in new activities.
I learned the hard way, my life was passing me by, and I HAD to do something. I hope yours isn’t passing you by, and this post inspired you in some way to overcome whatever it is in your life you are struggling with. Because lets face it, no one is perfect, everyone has issues. Good luck and remember Carpe Diem!!
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I’ve always taken the time...
Pete Moring | Mar 16, 2008 | Reply
Hi Jason.
Very brave of you to write this post.
When I saw your E-mail and the invitation to ‘view’ your new blog, I thought “Oh No, not another desperate attempt for viewers”. But because I’m up early, not able to sleep, and quite bored because of tiredness, I clicked through, and what a revelation.
I’d never have thought that YOU of all people would’ve suffered with social anxiety disorder.
I’ve lived with it all my life. Made my wife and kids lives hell because of it. (We don’t realise how it affects those nearest us).
I’m now 57, and have had a successful business life in the construction industry, in spite of it. Though now I wish I’d got it sorted when I was young, as you don’t realise how fast life passes you by.
The last few years has seen my health deteriorate and ’social anxiety’ is the last thing you need when hospital appointments are necessary. I’ve depended solely on my children, (now grown up) to accompany me to hospital, doctors appointments etc. I’m now virtually homebound with my physical condition after years of being that way due to a psycholocal condition.
I applaud YOU for doing something about it.
If anyone else out there is reading this, and suspects that ‘just maybe’ they also have the symptoms, I hope your post inspires them to GET IT TREATED.
Wishing you well.
Pete.
Sandy Hall | Mar 16, 2008 | Reply
Hi Jason, Sandy here
This is one of the most insightful posts I’ve read about you anywhere.
I’ve been lucky enough to have had several, in person, conversations with you.
And I did notice the shyness you showed in your conversations with me and others around us.
I’m so glad you’re beginning to come out of that.
You have so much to offer people Jason.
I do hope you continue your rise out of the “social anxiety disorder” you find yourself in.
Jason, I wish you all the best in your fight to become a social butterfly.
If there is anything at all I can do to help you in this, please get in touch.
Sandy Hall
Jason | Mar 16, 2008 | Reply
Hi Pete, thanks for the wisdom, I wish you well also.
Jason | Mar 16, 2008 | Reply
Sandy, thanks for the nice words… Yes iv’e always been rferred to as shy, now everyone knows why! I wish you the best as well, thanks for being a loyal reader
Denise Hall | Mar 24, 2008 | Reply
I had no idea, Jason. I’ve never met you in person, so maybe it would have seemed more obvious if I had, but online you just “don’t seem the type.”
Good luck to you.
Denise
Ray Johnson | Apr 7, 2008 | Reply
Totally respect you Jason.
I’m a disabled and have cerebal palsy (a hospital blunder at my birth caused it) and this has caused me to have similar problems to yourself.
Hats off to you my man, it took some balls for you to write this post I know - but if you didnt have balls you wouldn’t be in the Marines! LOL
For F**** sake what is all the fuss about - you are fine dude…
Ray
Sharon | Apr 8, 2008 | Reply
hey Jason, just read your post. I’ve heard so much about you online I never thought you’d have this problem.
It’s similar to mine!
And yes I’m getting over it too. Although I’m still uncomfortable around social gatherings that are like weddings, and dinner partys where I actually have to interact and have a social conversation with a lot of strange people. That’s different from being around friends and just chatting.
But as I said I’m working on that.
Thank you for writing this post. I know it must have been hard for you to come out in public about this.
And I’m happy you’re doing well.
Good on you.
Jason | Apr 8, 2008 | Reply
Hi Sharon,
Thanks for sharing.. I hope you keep working on it, and continue to challenge yourself. Good luck!
Liz Tomey | Apr 9, 2008 | Reply
First off, I would have never guessed it.
Jason you are like the “sexy mac daddy” of all.
Second, I’m proud of you. I know that’s something that’s hard to overcome. It actually caused my first divorce. I couldn’t handle my ex with his SAD. Didn’t know what it was at the time. Just thought he hated everyone.
Live and learn, but glad to hear you are focused on yourself, and making yourself that much more perfect.
Good luck sweetie!
Liz
Cathy Weston | Apr 13, 2008 | Reply
Hi Jason:
Thanks for this post and all your other great posts - I, too, suffer from this problem which I believe comes from a fear of rejection- all I can say is that it does seem to get better as you get older - maybe one becomes less sensitive about what others think. Another thing which helped was that I worked for a time as a welfare worker, dealing with people constantly, and under less than ideal conditions. At the time I really needed the job and it forced me to “come out of my shell” pretty quickly. I still have a lot of trouble making “small talk” with strangers and have trouble approaching new people at gatherings.
It takes a lot of courage to face this problem - good luck to you.
Cathy
Chris Lockwood | May 8, 2008 | Reply
I wouldn’t have guessed… how were you able to arrange so many JVs while dealing with this condition?
Jason | May 8, 2008 | Reply
Hey Chris,
It was required for me to take my business to the next level for me to network, so I just toughed it out! Networking is not my forte but I make due.